How to Speak Car Lingo

Carguys speak their own language. Brush up with this guide.

Read it online here.

Favourite lines:

It’s never a “whip” (a ’90s hip hop music term that has long passed its expiration date).

And:

Take the term I use when describing my ‘99 Jetta, “hi, I drive a lunch box.”

See my lunch box here.

The tuner crowd’s language is even more refined.

To wit:

I drive a Honda
MB4 D16Y8 SOHC GT28RS Enkei RPF1 15×7.5 with a +35 offset

That’s in order: chassis code >engine > single overhead cam >turbo specs > brand of wheel > that’s 15-inch diameter by 7.5 inches wide > and the hub sits at 35.

That is this car.

(Thanks to my brother for help with the tuner language. That’s his line, and car)

And this week was my best ever cover mention.

Because look: they included my name, making this the most it’s ever been printed, nice.

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Using Uber Car Service

Instead of taking a taxi, you use an app on your phone to summon, then pay, a black car. Classy.

Uber – Everyone’s Private Driver

‘

Favourite line:

And that’s it; 2 clicks and zero human interaction, and a car is on its way to you.

Bottom right are the text messages Uber sent me.

Above was one of my cars – a Lincoln Navigator.

Seats are pre-heated, and a bottle of water waits.
And no small talk!

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An Autonet & Work Update

I’m now up to 5 articles / week – 3 news stories, my column, and a technical review like this.

(my review of the all-new Buick Encore)

I still get the biggest kick out of seeing my words in print, like: that’s all me I wrote all that. Sure I’ve written one million words here on my blog, but to hold it in your hand is a neat feeling.

Unfortunately that’s the only review I have a hard copy of, which is sad news for my fridge collection.

This week’s column (prints Wednesday) is about pedestrians, again.

My column prints with this headshot, which is so funny to me.

I took this photo with my phone, and sunglasses on you can’t tell it’s me, which amuses me endlessly.  Because finally after 5 years I finally publish my last name, and it’s accompanied with that photo ha.

My headshot online though, I feel opposite about; wow is it ever awkward. I didn’t actually look so helmety-and-awkward day of.

It’s just, I’ve never liked having my photo taken, and it really shows in the shot.

My boss Joe best sums up the photo.

I jacknifed when that came in.

But the good news is, so we’re switching again to a new content management system, so I can upload a new photo.

But the problem is, time and effort has been put into building that awkwardness into banners.

This is the best banner of all, check out my 468×60… and it’s animated

My disembodied head zooms around back and forth ahaha I’m laughing too ahard ot type…

Welcome to the Autonet newsletter, I’m Keri.

Click through on my helmet hair or weird neck, and let’s go read some car news awkwardly.

 

 

Favourite Autonet Articles I Recently Wrote

Some of my neater topics of recent news stories. Click through to read the story.

Here’s my Autonet.ca news section, updates with 3 articles/week.

In 1998, LA Magazine predicts what cars will be like today, and they got a lot right.

 

Volvo’s trying to make a car smell like nothing, because that delicious “new car smell” is actually, low level emissions from the materials.

 

Nissan designs robots to behave like schools of fish, then uses them for autonomous car research.

 

Google chooses Volkswagon as its first-ever automotive parnter / collaborator.

 

Hey Pedestrians – Cars Hurt

It’s baffling to see… someone walks into the street without looking, head down and distracted… why make the driver value their life more than they do?

Favourite Lines:

Rights are not an invisible force field of protection.

and

33% of the time, the pedestrian is at fault of the accident.

(Related column: Back up, Pedestrians)

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