Happy Anniversary to my ‘Keri on Driving‘ column!
Big milestone for me… that’s 150 different topics, 45,000 words, and am pleased to report since its debut 2.5 years ago in August 2012, I only took 4 weeks off.
Read it online at Autonet.
Happy 150th anniversary to my column!
We learned there’s no way out of paying the destination charge when buying a car, and the “Solomon Curve” parabola mathematically proves “speed doesn’t kill, slowness does.” We learned that Santa is a trucker, and Ford’s toughest F-150 test involved men hired from Craigslist.
We now know an Enhanced Driver’s Licence can be used to cross the border, and that while dancing in your car, air vents can double as a wind machine. We also found out it’s more difficult to obtain your licence in Germany versus Canada.
To those without a driver’s licence, “why design your life so that you’re always relying on someone else?”
Valets should be tipped twice, and you should clean your dirty car because “you wouldn’t sit in your living room surrounded by fast food bags.”
Best lines I got printed in the paper, just to see if I could: “my rats-nest hairdo” and “50 Shades of EyeRoll.”
I rewrote the rulebook on “what to do after an accident,” investigated the mystery behind the checkered flag, and realized that motorsports boils down to concentration, which gave me the idea to “put a monk behind the wheel of a race car.”
Safety aids are overrated, because “when was the last time you checked that the sensor was clean of debris?” And I’m still not excited about autonomous cars, and suggested everyone should “go get lost this weekend, while you still can.”
Did you know “there are over 100 computers (ECUs) in a car?” With the introduction of WiFi hotspots “we’ll all stream YouTube nonsense as we motor along.
We peered inside a car’s “black box” (EDR), and its OBDII port, now let’s go “wardriving.”
From armoured cars to cloaking a car in camouflage, I specialized in auto security. We solved crimes using car clues, warned that “stick family“ stickers are still a terrible idea, and the main takeaway on car hacking is that if someone who is that specialized is chasing you, you have bigger things to worry about than your car being hacked.
The most commented topic online (at 125 comments) was “Fight Speeding Tickets,” but I’m more proud of my least-commented column, because angry hippies hidden behind a keyboard love to comment, and “Down with hybrids” published to crickets. Logic!
One third of traffic is caused by people looking to park, and it makes no sense getting worked up about it since “you knew (the traffic) was there, and still pointed your car at it and drove right in.”
Thanks for reading – here’s to 150 more!
Favourite line:
All of it, because the whole thing is composed of all my favourite lines. If you read no other column by me, please make it this one.
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