A Brief History of my Days as a Security Guard

Jan 13 2014

When I first moved to Toronto years ago, I used to work as a security guard at different downtown venues.

This is BMO field, where the TFC soccer team plays. Season’s ticket holders enter the stadium at the green *

If you were a 2009 season’s ticket holder,
I probably checked your bag.

And probably commented on its contents.

To the mothers, sorry I had to take away your kid’s food, they made me. Not sorry for all the water bottle caps I unscrewed, that’s a no every time.

One night, across the way at the Ricoh Coliseum, I was on search at the door, for a Slipknot concert, and I’d forgotten my gloves :S

Gwen Stefani smiled at me once, and it’s amazing how pumped people get for Nickelback. Saw Adele before she was Adele, the former head coach of the Raptors gave me a locker room coke, and I once escorted ACDC to their van without realizing it.

When Elton John was here, that was me, in the centre of the arena, sitting on a speaker guarding the sound mixer. David Furnish sat beside me for a bit, he has a nice air about him. Britney Spears was the only shift I ever requested.

Three days at the Royal Agricultural Fair feels like forever, this job really slowed down time.

And no, I don’t want your guitar pick.

The perks of this job were lost on me, since I rarely listen to music. Mostly I’d ask to be assigned to the quietest, remote corner, and read.

About my over-the-top 5.11 pants I got for my uniform.

(top photo – taken during a backstage tour of the Honda Indy)

Securing Your Car in the City

Mar 20 2013

Defend against 2 types of attacks when parking your car in an urban environment.

(Last line reads: because unless the car is stolen out of your driveway, the thief now knows where you live and where you’re not.

Favourite line:

Securing your car isn’t so much about making it theft-proof (that’s impossible); it’s more about making it invisible and undesirable.

Above – where this week’s column came from.

24 Hours readers – you’ve met me through cars, but as a hobby around here, I blog about security, mostly online.

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Back to ‘Keri on Driving’ – Index

Worst Anti-Phone-Theft System I Ever Saw

Dec 16 2012

Plug the leash into the bottom of any Apple product (phone, iPod).

Somehow, it doesn’t come out when yanked.

If your surroundings are so hostile,
why are you on your phone at all?

Imagine that walking by on the street, like they’re almost asking for it, it’d be tempting wouldn’t it…

It's Not a Wet Paint Sign, It's a Breach

Sep 25 2012

That sign… no details, no company name, that’s probably Microsoft Paint and a clipart janitor.

What a fast, cheap, and effective way to keep open an electronically-secured door, for as long as needed. This door stayed open for 36 hours.

(also: never feel bad about stopping people from tail-gating you into a secure building)